i kinda feel like a stalker.

finally, the weekend, and josh is home, and i'm pretty much alone here. does it suck? yeah a little bit, but it means that i can get a lot of work in the form of homework and reading done and out of the way. plus, a little independence never hurt anybody. i've been on my own before, i can do it again. i'll just have to keep myself entertained.

i don't know if i'm going to keep updating this journal anymore, it just seems to be ridiculous to write this for the 3 or 4 people that read it. i think i'm just going to write about my boring life in my own journal, a more physical, paper and pen kind of one. good nite.

well the whole thing with Citi got straightened out, so that's calmed me down a little bit. but still, today wasn't like every other day, it just seemed more devoid of anything related to emotion for me. i just felt drained the whole day, like i didn't want to do anything. it could be due in part to the fact that i had a calc test, an early class, or even the fact that i feel stupid for just hanging out with josh all the time.

don't get me wrong, he's one of my best friends, if not the best friend. I know i take him for granted, because sometimes i wonder what it would be like if he decided to go to grand valley or adrian- i know that i'd be lost, that the time i'd be here at state would just be the loneliest of my life. it's bad enough i don't get to hang out with andy and kyle that much, but take josh away and i'd have no reason to do anything but sit in my room and dream about the way things might have been.

but tonight, i was talking to him, and i just didn't feel the same- not because of him, like i said, it's a combination of things. i haven't had a genuine smile on my face since around 5, when me and chris ate dinner, and that's not normal for me. i need to find a way to get out of this funk i'm in. hopefully after friday i'll be better.

word of the day: infuriated. i called the credit card company because the account that i had close had been charged a $15 late fee for the payments that were supposed to be transferred to my other card. This stupid stupid bitch named Joan tells me that some payments can't transfer- i wasn't told that would happen by the rep i spoke to when cancelling the card. but nooooo, joan has to be going through "that time of the month," and says "you need to make this payment now." looking back on it, i really should have just went nuts and yelled, "you don't use that tone of voice with me. let me speak to your boss." i think i might just call to make a complaint about her, because her attitude was unnecessary and unappreciated. this just makes things worse.

just finished dinner with josh- we just talked about how funny it's gonna be in windsor when we pay someone off to rape andy. that's right andy, you're gonna get diddled.

i don't know, i didn't have anything else to say. oh yeah, i did get a 90 on my physics test, so i'll take it. later.

hung out with kyle tonight and just watched the pistons game and midgets get assaulted. josh didn't feel like coming out since he had a lot of blood taken, so that was understandable. i feel bad for him. and i guess andy and kyle were hanging out before i came, but andy had to go home for one reason or another. oh well, hopefully we can all hang out tomorrow night, possibly after my parents' anniversary dinner. those three guys are the only people i can truly have fun with.

and now i'm working on these stupid online physics questions. there's always one that i manage to take down to the wire with all but one of my tries, and i hate it. it's so stressful. tomorrow i'm gettin my haircut and studyin the rest of the afternoon, but hopefully the evening will be better.

another late night, just more stupid thoughts. i only have math tomorrow morning, and then i'm going home for the weekend. can't wait to get out of here because it seems that every day is just worse than the one before it (yeah, that's from office space). it just seems that no one here, with the exception of josh of course, seems to care for me, which kind of bothers me, seeing as how i keep a lot of people in my thoughts and always talk to them. I've come to conclusion that it is almost damn near impossible for me to be the slightest bit rude to someone. it's just not in me. sometimes i wish i could just tell someone off, but then my conscience kicks in and starts thinking about how they might feel, and i hate that. why can't i just act without thinking of the repercussions? God, i hate it. have a good weekend.

i read this and thought, what a creative way to float 90 miles.CNN.com - Cubans try floating vintage car to Florida - Feb. 4, 2004

sometimes i wonder if i go too far out of my way to make people happy. I im'ed michelle to wish her luck on her chem exam yesterday, but she never im'ed me back to say thanks. Now, she could've been busy, and i understand that, but not even an im to say thanks? whatever, it's no big deal i guess.

that isn't the only example, i mean, most times i'm the one to im people outside of my close circle to see how they're doing, if they wanna grab something to eat, or just to hang out. Screw it, i give up. If i'm talked to, i'll be nice, but i'm not gonna go out of my way anymore to do stuff for people. It's ridiculous. It's not like i do it for recognition or anywhere, but sometimes it feels good to be talked to. i'm done. good nite.

the superbowl didn't feel the same this year. maybe it's because i watched it by myself, i don't know. After spending most of the weekend hanging out with Josh, it felt kind of awkward( not awkward, i can't figure out a word to explain it) to go back there a third time in 3 days, so i just hung out in my room and ate my pizza. kind of depressing, yeah, but there'll be better days i guess.

i spent a little more time studying physics after the game, so i'll be prepared for that stupid stupid test on tuesday. alright well i'm gonna go read a bit then call it a nite. later.

sittin at josh's, just watchin mr. deeds, our "fall asleep" movie. i always manage to fall asleep to this movie whenever it's really late, regardless of whether i'm tired or not.

i studied for a lot of this afternoon, mostly just physics, gettin ready for tuesday's test. i'm feeling a lot better about it, especially after studying.

andy called josh earlier today and asked if the both of us were interested in going to windsor with him and mark for his birthday. of course we were interested, so all i'm waiting on is my ridiculously overprotective parents to give me the ok. it's not like i'm going to go drink- we're just going to hang out, enjoy windsor as any other 19 year olds would. Mark's a good guy too, one of the better stepdads i've met. He's really nice and is always looking out for all of us. it should be a good time. can't wait til february 13th.

so uh today, today was decently uneventful. i ended up taking til 530 to finish my stupid model in ME, so i didn't get to grab dinner until after physics, which sucked. i was ridiculously hungry, and went over to holden to eat with josh and casey. i hung out with them for a little while, just watching tv and figuring out a way we could get a free playstation 2. No dice on the ps2, so we're probably just gonna buy one used or somethin.

i have some online physics to do (fun? you'd think so), so i'm gonna get to that. peace.

i thought this was frickin hilarious, check it out if you aren't too lazy to read. like some people. ahem ahem.

Accept Jesus Christ and Get a Free Playstation 2

hmm. class. boring. dinner. interesting.

ok now for a bit more about the day. i dont know if it snowed more today or if it was just the ridiculous wind picking up snow and dumping it again. fun stuff. i had ISS, math, and physics today, which was no fun. in between math and physics, i took a good hour and a half nap, which was nice. tonite i can do my homework and sleep in tomorrow morning since i dont have class til my lab at 3.

ok josh is a ridiculous word smith. Try this one on for size: "hubbytoosers." i was laughin for a little bit about that one. kyle, josh, andy, and myself have decided to start up a lemonade stand over the summer, right next to a little kid's stand. i just wanna muscle them out of the business, feel like a big man. throw some dixie cups at em, sell pink and yellow lemonade, and all at 5 cents less. we can do it.

enough of my retarded idea. it's gonna work, and when it does, i'm gonna look back at all you naysayers and slap you in the face.

yeah that "comment" thing underneath each post means you can click it and say something. amazing, i know. technology these days is ridiculous. speak up if you want, if not, whatever, it really makes no difference to me.

lots of snow today. not very fun wading through drifts up to my knees cuz the stupid plows only come by about every 5 hours. it's nice, i'm glad the drivers get their little breaks, it's important.

after physics i went over to josh's for dinner, where he told me the most bizarre dream i've ever heard. 2 words: poop snake. any more than that, you'll have to ask him. ridiculous, i was completely blown away- i've never had any dreams like that besides the one I had when i was in third grade- it was about me being a black pawn on a chessboard, and Ricky Penn, one of my friends from class, was the white knight, and basically he made a move and murdered me. weird i know. anyone know what it means?

i need to read. well, not really, it's probably better that i do. later.

ooh, been a little while. um, yeah, nothing really new and fantastic, just the usual. fell asleep a couple times in my 8 am class. math was the usual. it's snowing-again. it's very windy. again. don't have class til 6, so i plan on relaxin a bit in the form of a nap or a movie, we'll see.

and now josh tells me that we might get up to 10 inches of snow by tomorrow night. It's all so magical. As soon as i finish school, i'm moving. probably not, but i can say it.

just saw a commercial for the toyota tundra double cab, and all i could think was, "geez, they are doing everything right that the (Not So) Big Three can't." it scares me to think that we'll all be driving imports in 20 years. yikes.

But i digress. pretty uneventful day today, class as usual, the calc quiz was really easy- too easy in fact, Pieter and Alex had all but told us what the problems were going to be, so that helped tremendously. And for the second straight day, i managed to stay awake in physics. It's just that Piermarocchi's Italian Mario Bros. voice is so quiet, it's like it encourages me to fall asleep. I can't be the only one, geez.

sold my atl book today, so that was nice. now i just need to get my iss books out of the way and i'm set. i hung out with josh and watched the pistons' winning streak come to an end to friggin Indiana. They looked terrible all nite, couldn't hit a shot to save their life.

Speaking of basketball, Chris asked me if i would be interested in playing IM basketball, so i'm prolly gonna start doin that. No idea when it starts, but it should be fun. I'm going home for the weekend with josh, so i have to remember to bring my shoes back up with me. enough out of me.

geez, it's bad enough being cut by a razor, but a frickin mach 3? i look like a tiger just had its way with me.

hung out with josh last nite and for most of today, just watching football all day. kyle and andy came up, which was cool as always. we'll hang out again today, but i need to go to sleep now. later.

just finished studyin for my math quiz, which consisted of doing the 2 problems my professor emailed us and said we should look over. he's a good guy.

time to work out a little bit, or maybe clean up the area a bit more. or i might just study some physics or iss. who knows. i'm an enigma. no i'm not.

holy crap i almost pissed my pants- i was just editing the template to change up some colors and stuff, and i guess i deleted most of the page somehow. but don't worry, as you can i fixed it. scary moment there. yikes. wow. that was crazy.

kyle's an amazing writer, check out this little ditty about Money.

back to school and i'm already ready to get it all over with. everything's going good, i just forgot how boring some classes can be. my iss class seems alright, even though i have to wake up at like 7 in the morning for it and it's a 2 hour class. 20 minutes later i have calc 3, oh yeah it's fun. then i have physics in the evening, which kinda sucks because by then i'm tired and ready to just relax and do my homework or whatever.

oh yeah, and it's cold. and it's supposed to snow 2-4 inches tomorrow. usually that would make me happy, but knowing i have to walk in it makes it bittersweet.

today i had my ME class from 9-10, then calc review from 10-11. pieter, my TA from last semester is back again, so that's great, because he really helped out last time. usually i would be at an ME lab right now, but it starts next week. then i have physics from 6-7 once more.

i miss hanging out at home with andy and kyle, but this semester will be over soon and then we'll all enjoy the summer. in the meantime, i'll make the most of what's here. peace.

it's amazing how a few days can make a difference. kyle completely tore me apart in his journal, so bad that i think it brought a tear to my eye. nonetheless, all of us ended up hanging out that night, and i liked it. i hate conflict, especially the conflict that is completely unnecessary, which is like 99% of conflict. we just hung out, played poker, watched football. i feel lucky to have friends like that, even though sometimes i seem to take it for granted.

tomorrow starts the second semester, and i'm anxious to get it done and over with. my schedule sucks quite a bit, but it'll teach me to prioritize. i'm still thinking about getting a job, that would be even more helpful, not to mention the extra money i'd make.

for once, my life is going pretty good, and i couldn't be happier.

it's official, i'm tired of kyle's crap. how do you call after you get off work and say you're going to come over, but two hours later, you're nowhere to be seen? i never thought he would be one to just ditch us like that, but he proved me wrong.

today's my 19th birthday, and only the people that mean something to me have taken the time to say happy birthday to me. i don't even care for the rest of the people that didn't say it, it's not like i go up to everyone and say "it's my birthday" or somethin, like some people, ahem. haha. me and the family are probably goin to dinner later in the evening, but other than that i have no plans, maybe they'll let me out of the house and me and the guys can hang out. and by guys, i mean josh and andy. i know of no one else.

the auto show is this weekend, but i don't know if i'm gonna be able to make it or not. i really wanna go, but i don't think there's gonna be any time, i leave on sunday, and saturday is full of who knows what to do. i'll figure something out.

well happy birthday to me, and what do i have to show for it? i'm playin online texas hold em and talkin to the girl i sold my stereo to, not bad at all. happy frickin 19th justin.

finally, it snowed close to 5 inches today. all i can say is it's about damn time. maybe me and the guys will go sledding sometime this week, that would be like old times, no doubt about it.

brian's got the flu or something, he spent most of last nite throwing up and in bed, i felt terrible, but it's gotta run its course. i still feel good, knock on wood. i might drop brian off at school tomorrow, if he goes, and if not, i'm just gonna go to the post office to mail off the stock receiver to christine. drive safe everyone.

i don't have too much to say, i'll keep it short and sweet. brian's sick, i'm tired and bored, and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing there'll be much better days ahead.

well happy new year to all. i went over to andy's house and hung out with him and josh and the rest of his family, even though that wasn't the original plan. what was supposed to happen was that we were all gonna hang out with kyle, maybe find a place to go, but kyle ended up goin to EMU on his own with evan, so he never called us. we spent the rest of the nite playing catchphrase and football outside. i liked just hangin out with the guys, but we still made an oath for next year to go to toronto to celebrate there. nothin like a road trip between 3 best friends.

here's to a great new year-keep the good times going.

i went to briarwood with josh in the afternoon yesterday, still feeling a little depressed, no thanks to the somber skies and cold rain. i came back home, had dinner, then ended up going over to andy's to hang out with him, kyle, josh, and evan. we just played some texas hold em, watched tv, and went to taco bell before i called it a night. i sat in my bed and typed my other journal stuff because i had so much going through my mind, but i feel much better now, especially after talking on the phone.

we still don't know what we're doing for new year's. last night i told the guys that i would drink with them because it seemed like nothing was going right for me, but now i'm not going to. i don't think i was going to follow through on it in the first place. i'm all talk, what can i say. i can seriously say that alcohol is never going to touch my lips. i've seen it do some terrible stuff to good people, and i'd rather not be a part of that group. so to that effect, i'm wondering if i should even hang out with the guys on new years, i don't wanna feel like i'm dragging down the whole atmosphere. maybe i'll just hang out at home or something.

whoa, it's been a lil more than a week since i put anythin in here. nothin has happened though, really.

i ended up gettin a 3.4 (ok fine, it's a 3.39, can't i round up?) for the semester. The 4.0 in my amer. lit class totally came out of nowhere, i was expecting a 3.0 or 3.5 at the most.

i did some more shopping today, just for mom and dad. hopefully they don't return this stuff, but if the past is an indicator, they will. i hate that.

last nite me and josh saw return of the king, which we both agreed was perhaps one of the greatest movies/series in the history of film. yes, that good. i might go with nicki tomorrow nite and see it again.

Christmas is only one day away, and there isn't any snow on the ground. i hate michigan. the stupid weatherman on fox said there would be 5 1/2 inches by tomorrow, but the system that was supposed to do all of this passed us by and only gave us rain. ridiculous. and now we might be getting "snow showers." you know what the symbol for "snow showers" is on weather channel? It's a friggin sun, cloud, and rain that is supposed to be looked at as snow! I HATE IT! why can't we have just one white christmas? NOOOOOO, the snow has to wait til january 14, when it just dumps everything on us. psh, just stupid.

once again, bored at home, just finished talkin to josh. i think i might go watch a movie or somethin, or work out and shower and call it a nite. i like being home, just not the boredom that seems to tag along with it.

last nite, josh, kyle, andy, and i ended up at electric stick until like 12:30, then just called it a nite. i hate the smell of smoke in that place more than anything, cuz the clothes i wear there end up smelling like no other. i can't stand that, and then i gotta deal with mom asking me if i'm smoking. just silly, i mean, i ran track for 3 years, and still work out constantly.

tomorrow's a shopping day, i still gotta get gifts for a lot of people. later.

WHOO! Alright now, this is what i'm talkin about. I got a 4.0 on my chem final, which pretty much did nothing for me except keep me safe at a 3.0 for the semester. I'll take it, but i wonder if i would've done better if i had studied for the other chem tests like i did for the final. Best of all, dave did crappy, which i believe is that karma comin back at him. i don't know how i did on my math final, but we'll find out soon enough.

we set up the tree today, yes, that means it's a fake, a big ol fake tree, and i don't like it. Just the fact that it came in a box and the "branches" have to be stuck in little holes on the "festivus pole" type setup is really stupid. I hope we get a real one next year.

pistons lost to cleveland tonite, don't know what the hell is goin on with them. whatever, it's their future, i'll still be a fan as long as rip doesn't make even more stupid mistakes (if that's even possible).

finally, i'm done and sitting at home, bored out of my mind already. I'm a little tired, probably cuz of the boredom. its so quiet around here, it's gonna take some time to adjust. alright well i don't have too much to say, so later i guess.

ok i just realized somethin- here's a dialogue, (approx.):

Dave: "What are shootin for on the test?"
Me: "like a 64, i need that for a 3.0"
Dave: "dude have you even gotten that high?"
Me (playin it off): "nah, but i'm gonna try it- either way i don't care."

Then i just realized that Dave is a complete moron and i don't like him. I mean i've known i don't like him for quite some time now, but this just solidified it. Friends are supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down. I gave him a vote of confidence, the least he could do is the same. People can be jackasses sometimes, i hate it.

oh, and the 3 people who read this will notice i've done away with the happy meter. It's stupid, i've realized i'm hardly ever very happy when i'm in school- i can't wait til wednesday at 5pm, when i'll be free for a month.

arghh, so much stress because of this stupid chem final, i hate it. I think i'm just gonna go to sleep and let the chips fall where they may. Whatever. I'll write more tomorrow once i get more than 6 hours of sleep.

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So finals prep is upon us, and i have 2 tests and one discussion to get ready for- not as bad as some people, but still, the pressure to perform is there. I'm shooting for 3.5 for the semester, which i think is excellent compared to all the other idiots on this campus- seriously, at first i thought i was gonna fall way behind early on, but then me and josh realized that we are actually the smarter ones, and that isn't saying too much.

anyway, nothin special happened today, just football like every friday, except today there were some excellent hits involving the big guys. There was one head on collision that had both guys gettin stitches, then another one where the kid tipped the ball and then got absolutely nailed by this big guy named derrick. ridiculous.

i spent most of tonite just reading parable of the talents, which is actually pretty good. tomorrow's gonna be my major study day, i can't wait, well actually it's 1 am now, so i guess today's gonna be my major study day. I don't like it anymore. my only motivation is that i'll be home by 7 pm on wednesday. a whole month off, can't wait.

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i just realized i like fine art. wow, thanks 11th grade western civilization!

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alright, so far so good. Today I had my way with my calc quiz (this time i'm sure), the EGR 291 "final" was a piece of cake, and to cap it off, i got a 4.0 on my ATL essay! Hot diggity! Plus, fernandez said that the essay due for thursday doesn't have to be a polished, final copy, just that we should try our best. Haha, here comes a great big serving of b.s., served Justin style.

But there is a bit of bad news; turns out we do have a final in ATL, but it's a discussion, which fernandez expects to take the complete two hours. That's a bit sick and disturbing, in an english kind of way. So instead of being done by 10am wednesday, i'll be done at 5pm. that kinda sucks. Oh well, i'm gonna go drink some milk now.

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well, thanksgiving is over, and i'm back at state, ready to start another boring week. But on the bright side, it's only these five days, then finals next week and hopefully i'll be out of here by wednesday. That'd be great. I'm really tired, i probably should go to sleep soon. Probably now. I'll put some more in here tomorrow, if i feel like it. laayyyyyy...

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Well, i was tired, but now not so much, not after brushing my teeth for that minty aftertaste. Karl (i think) was in the bathroom, not lookin so great. Whatever, his fault i guess. Will left for the nite, so i've just been chilling out in the room, reading a bit, organizing all my mp3s (all legal mind you RIAA). The new Dave Matthews CD is excellent, all the songs are great.

ATL today was fun, just because i made it seem that way. I tried diverting Dr. Fernandez off the topic of race, even though it's near impossible, seeing as how everything today is based on race, in her opinion. I just uttered "michael jackson," and she went nuts for a good 30 minutes. Mission accomplished. Then we got to talking about the MSU email systems, and one of the guys didn't know the difference, which was pretty obvious to the rest of the students. So, being the comedic genius i am, looked at him and blurted out, "you know, you're the kind of guy that's gonna buy a computer from best buy and end up getting sold a freezer." I really didn't think it was that mean until i actually said it, and everyone gasped. Whatever, i got a laugh out of everyone. Elissa went crazy, and i just laughed cuz she laughed.

The rest of the day has just been relaxing, watching a bit of tv, doing some math and chem, blah blah. Maybe i'll write some more tomorrow, i dunno.

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So get this- at a mall in Kalamazoo, Santa's elves are giving people pagers so they don't have to wait in line...Am i the only one that sees something incredibly wrong with this? Geez! First everyone goes artificial (trees that is), and now this? What is going on?

Oh, and it turns out my chem test raped me. How about them apples?

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WHOOOOOO! I just raped my chem test, at least i'm pretty sure i did. I'm in a better mood than i've been for the past 2 tests. I'll celebrate by watching a bit of the game, then get down to business and study for calc. Ugh.

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That's right, that's a 10 in bold up above. The first time i think too. ok wait, second time. whatever. anyway, today was actually a good day, despite the weather. First, i should say nothing special happened over the weekend. Monday was boring, as usual. I ended up doing my whole rough draft for atl the night before, and didn't finish til 3 am, so today i've been a little sluggish. but that's alright, i'm adjusting. so today was my relaxation day, although it shouldn't have been. what are you gonna do? Tomorrow, or today, seeing as how it's 1:30 in the friggin morning, i've got chem at 9, then math, then chem lab, and then at 430 me and josh have to go sign the lease for the apartment. I'm pretty excited for next year, i'm glad josh is staying here one more year. I'm most likely gonna quit michigan state after soph year too, just cuz this environment isn't at all "conducive" to my learning style. Too many distrac...ooh, tv's on. later.

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well, i have done nothing this weekend-yet. It's been so boring, especially yesterday. I hung out with josh and casey and ended up spending the nite, just cuz it was so cold. Now it brings us here, and the second half of the game just started. I'll write morelater, wheni'm noton a retarded keyboard like casey's.

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so it was a decent day today, except the weather, and the fact that i didn't get any credit on my atl essay because i didn't include the stupid checklist (but she is going to give me credit once she sees the checklist, whew). It was decent this morning, the calc quiz was easy, it rained, the sun came out, boring 30 minute presentation on how to use the library catalog, then realllly boring amer. lit. I was so tired, the weather just slapped me and took away my energetical powers. That isn't even a word, i know. I just finished reading chem, and now i need some sleep. peace.

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Dear God, I saw the most horrific thing today, and it isn't an image that will soon leave my mind. After my chem lecture, i went out the exit i always do, and came to the street crossing, like i always do. There was a van trying to turn right onto south shaw, but as always there were people crossing. For some reason i was just watching. There was a kid on a bike, and he seemed hesitant about crossing, but the driver of the van waved him on, so he did. But the guy couldn't see the other lane, and that's when it happened. The silver sebring convertible met the bike and body with a sickening thud. I was horrified, to say the least. The kid slid off the now shattered windshield, and lay on the ground, screaming in agony. I pulled out my phone and called 911, but hung up when i saw 5 others already calling. The crowd was gathering, the girls that were in the car were sobbing, and traffic was tied up. Buses couldn't get into the station, so they were letting kids off right in front of where everything happened. I still couldn't believe what i saw, i was just shocked. The car seemed to have gotten the worst of it though, with a completely shattered windshield and dented beyond repair fender. The bike seemed to have taken a good hit too. I left the scene for math, just replaying it in my mind, shuddering at the thought of it. I hope he's alright. I won't forget what happened today for a long time.

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So, what the hell's up with fog in these scary movies? Most of the time the fog is creepier than Jason or Freddy Krueger, and i don't like it. I'm in a good mood right now, but when i walk back to brody, i'm gonna pee my pants. Yeah, i said it.

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How can i not be happy? The NBA kicked off today (actually yesterday, but most games were today). But the Pistons did lose. It was kinda bittersweet. Carlisle is with Indiana now, so I was pulling for him and Detroit at the same time. It's alright, there's still 81 games left.

Class today was nothing special. Chem lab lasted only an hour, so that was pretty nice. I just went back to brody, had lunch (actually saw chris there, so i just ate with him), and then relaxed for a bit in the room. I went over to holden and had dinner with josh, then watched some of the pistons before getting back to bailey. Tomorrow's gonna be my homework day, unfortunately. I only have atl tomorrow, so i have the rest of the day free- i actually have a few errands to run, so i'll take care of those early on. Until tomorrow...

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My math test just raped me, violently. Actually, it wasn't too bad, but it could've been better. The weekend was uneventful. Josh spent the nite saturday cuz there were like 10 guys in their room. We just ended up watchin fight club, and fell asleep around 1. Sunday was a football day, and i did a little math and atl homework. Monday was boring, i ate lunch with the guys, came back home and just worked on ATL more. The monday nite game was boring like no other, so i ended up watching reno. I need to go eat or something.

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i decided to go with breakfast and lunch at the same time- now i'm not feeling too good, so i'm gonna pass out...

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Josh got his tickets, so that was good. I just went to math today, and afterward we had lunch and played football for two hours with some of the guys here. the first hour was 2 hand touch, and was fun, but then the next hour was tackle. I got nailed several times, but it felt good. I was sore for a long time, but then i took a nap and felt better. now gangs of new york is on, and i kinda wanna watch, but whatever, it'll be on all next week.

I think i might actually work on my atl journals, so later i guess.

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I seriously don't know how to feel anymore. On one hand, my life's actually been going good for the first time in 18 years. On the other, everyone else around me seems to be feeling like crap- especially Josh. We went to Jenison to pick up our season tickets for basketball, and we saw his ID number on a list - oh my God, josh is choking right now, and may very well throw up, and all i'm doing is laughing. Anyway, back to the story- but we didn't make anything of it, we just thought it would be nothing. So we went to pick up our tickets, and what happens? I get my tickets, but Josh didn't get his b/c there were more students than tickets and he was in the lottery- i guess i was too, but i won. I felt really bad for him, just cuz nothing has been going right for him- girls, school, health- it's ridiculous. But i can relate because my life has been crap for the past 18 years, up until like last month. I know it's really shallow of me, and i know there are millions of people all over the world that are much worse off than me, but it's hard to relate it. I know i take life for granted. well, i'm gonna watch a bit of mr deeds and then go to sleep so i can wake up early and go to jenison with josh to see if there are any leftover tickets...good nite....

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geez, it's been a week since i put somethin in here. That's probably cuz nothin even remotely special has happened since last Tuesday. I'm still in a somewhat good mood, it's just that the weather has been crappy (with the exception of one day), and it's been like sapping my energy. Other than that, classes have been decent, nothin to complain about. math is going surprisingly well. I can't explain it, it just seems easier this year than last. Well, I'm gonna go to sleep or do hw or watch tv or somethin.

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It's almost wednesday... wait nothing's happening that's special on wednesday. unlike last week. anyway [i've given up on capitalization, it's a waste of time], the weekend was great, no complaints. courtney and kristina came up and i hung out with them for a bit with the rest of the guys. the lions didn't play this weekend, so that spared me the grief of coping with yet another sure loss.

the chem test monday night was decent. better than the first, that's for sure. then i had to study for a calc quiz, and finish my final draft of my atl essay. not too bad. that was definitely a stressful day.

today was depressing. it was cold, rainy, and just seemed to drain me throughout the day. atl was more boring than i can remember. i spent the rest of the day just hanging in the room, recovering from 2 stressful days to start off the school week. it only gets better from here [for the week i mean].

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Wow, this whole week has been amazing. Great weather, great friends, great grades, and last nite. Wowie. Most of it really started on Tuesday, and I already talked about that. I got my calc test back today, and i got a 92 on it! I was so incredibly happy, I don't think I ever got an A on a calc test last year. Then last nite i hung out with some really cool "people", we just watched tv while sitting on our brand new futon... But i did get only like 4 hours of sleep, so I think i'm gonna go turn in soon. later.

It's almost wednesday...

Anyway, today was perhaps the best day I've had in a long time. Where do i begin? The beginning, i guess. My calc test today was pretty easy; i thought i did really good on it, so hopefully i did. That engineering seminar class was boring as always, but it was alright. I went to amer. lit and actually had fun in the class. I made a few people laugh, which always feels good, and i got a 20/20 on my essay rough draft, which i was really happy about. Then i came back to the room, and our futon was all set up, which makes the room look a lot better. Tony was over, and he broke my mirror, which i really didn't care about, but he insisted on paying me for it- 30 bucks! 30 bucks for a 4 dollar mirror. I tried refusing it, but he insisted. That made me even happier. Dinner with Andrea, Michelle, Casey, and Josh was entertaining as always. Here's to more great days like this one...

well i'm depressed now. i knew it was gonna happen sooner or later between me and him. It'd just been building up, but i'm glad its over now. I realize that i made a mistake in making fun of him, but he did it a lot more to me than I did to him. I mean, I thought i helped him thru the toughest night of his life here at state, but he forgot about as soon as he woke up. I kind of expected that. Maybe now he knows just how much personal attacks hurt.

Ok, well, i had to start a new page for somewhat obvious reasons. If you don't know the reason, then it's because you don't need to know. Leave it at that.

I'm back home for the weekend, but i actually came in last nite. I had an externship at DaimlerChrysler HQ today, and that was a lot of fun. I got to see where Dad works and everything that goes on behind the scenes. I was actually surprised to see how many people actually report to him, i had no idea. Anyway, i'm really bored right now, but I'm just gonna relax here tonite and probably hang out with andy, trevor, and josh tomorrow nite. Yeah, i do have hw, but i won't do that til sunday. Whatever, it's pretty easy stuff. Well, i've gotta email a few people, so i'll put some stuff down here later.