well the whole thing with Citi got straightened out, so that's calmed me down a little bit. but still, today wasn't like every other day, it just seemed more devoid of anything related to emotion for me. i just felt drained the whole day, like i didn't want to do anything. it could be due in part to the fact that i had a calc test, an early class, or even the fact that i feel stupid for just hanging out with josh all the time.

don't get me wrong, he's one of my best friends, if not the best friend. I know i take him for granted, because sometimes i wonder what it would be like if he decided to go to grand valley or adrian- i know that i'd be lost, that the time i'd be here at state would just be the loneliest of my life. it's bad enough i don't get to hang out with andy and kyle that much, but take josh away and i'd have no reason to do anything but sit in my room and dream about the way things might have been.

but tonight, i was talking to him, and i just didn't feel the same- not because of him, like i said, it's a combination of things. i haven't had a genuine smile on my face since around 5, when me and chris ate dinner, and that's not normal for me. i need to find a way to get out of this funk i'm in. hopefully after friday i'll be better.

word of the day: infuriated. i called the credit card company because the account that i had close had been charged a $15 late fee for the payments that were supposed to be transferred to my other card. This stupid stupid bitch named Joan tells me that some payments can't transfer- i wasn't told that would happen by the rep i spoke to when cancelling the card. but nooooo, joan has to be going through "that time of the month," and says "you need to make this payment now." looking back on it, i really should have just went nuts and yelled, "you don't use that tone of voice with me. let me speak to your boss." i think i might just call to make a complaint about her, because her attitude was unnecessary and unappreciated. this just makes things worse.

just finished dinner with josh- we just talked about how funny it's gonna be in windsor when we pay someone off to rape andy. that's right andy, you're gonna get diddled.

i don't know, i didn't have anything else to say. oh yeah, i did get a 90 on my physics test, so i'll take it. later.